Image: Unsplash, downloaded (https://unsplash.com/photos/silhouette-of-person-walking-on-tunnel-IN19wK67bxY) 28. 7. 2024.
Anxiety
I apologize, all the time,
all my life, I’m being sorry,
a state of mind that’s tiring.
There’s no misfortune or distress,
didn’t throw anyone in front of a train,
or under a bus, but I’m always culpable,
always liable to despondence.
I don’t say it, I am it.
Sorrow darkens the eyes, the soul,
it slows down the alternatives,
conversation, sex, happiness,
any of the pleasures.
Momentarily I’ll shake it,
have a drink, reflect,
chill out, get something done,
but it resurfaces with the first
bad thought, the first coveting,
lying, lusting, all the basics.
I haven’t done it or thought it yet,
and I’m building the regret,
like worrying about a flat tire,
while you’re putting it in drive.
Confession, saying it out loud seems
like a shell game for suckers.
I need to put it in reverse,
walk backwards through the doors
I’ve been through.
It’s easier if I’ve already been there,
I’ve built an immune system
to most past grief.
About the Author: Craig Kirchner is retired and thinks of poetry as hobo art. He loves storytelling and the aesthetics of the paper and pen. He has had two poems nominated for the Pushcart, and has a book of poetry, Roomful of Navels. He houses 500 books in his office and about 400 poems in a folder on a laptop. These words tend to keep him straight.
After a writing hiatus he was recently published in Poetry Quarterly, Decadent Review, New World Writing, WordSwell, Vine Leaf Press, 7th Circle Pyrite, Ariel Chart, Blotter, Bombfire, Borderless Crossings, Cape Magazine, Carolina Muse, Chiron Review, Coneflower Café, Dark Winter, Edge of Humanity, Fairfield Scribe, Fixator, Flora Fiction, Floyd County, Gas, Ginosko, Globe Review, Hamilton Stone Review, Impspired, Ink in Thirds, Journal of Expressive Writing, Kleksograph, Last Leaves, Last Stanza, Light Ekphrastic, Lit Shark, Literary Heist, Literary Yard, Loud Coffee, Medusa’s Kitchen, Moria, Muse India, Neologism, Poetry Super Highway, Punk Monk, Quail Bell, Same Faces, Scab, Skinny, Spillwords, Sybil, The Argyle, The Lake, Timada’s Diary, Unbroken, Unlikely Stories, Valiant Scribe, Variety Pack, Versification, Wild Violet, Wise Owl, Witcraft, Yellow Mama, Young Ravens, Glacial Hills Review, Your Impossible Voice, Writers Resist and The Main Street Rag.
